FOR MY SISTERS...and the men that love them!

Why will a guy commit a lady in a relationship when it is obvious to him that there is no future for the both of them? And why will a lady commit to a relationship with a guy she knows is not ready to wed her, and yet couple of years later, begins to cry out for a husband.

In every relationship saga, the lady is always the most vulnerable and prone to heartbreaks. But why is it that after so many years of such sad stories, ladies still get involved in stupid relationships. I have always questioned the rationale behind the 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' phenomenon. Except for sex, what other kind of friendship can you not get from each other.

Ladies, i think it is high time you learnt that there is basically a great deal of difference between your emotional configuration and that of the guys. Ladies love with their hearts while guys love with their heads. This explains why stories of heartbreak are always a ladything. How many times d'you hear of a guy being heartbroken? They always seem to have a shock absorber that helps them move on. That is because it was never a heart thing for them in the first place.

Ladies fall by what they hear. Guys fall by what they see. This is why it is always the guys with the right combination of sweet words that get the girls, and the girls with the cute appearance get the guys.

Most importantly, sex is not a treasured experience for most guys. When a girl gives sex, it is usually a sacrifice of her most sacred and most prized possession, in an effort to keep a guy who doesn't deserve her. On the other hand, when a guy gets sex, it is just the satisfaction of a drive or an urge that just came upon him. Have you noticed that most ladies attach the sex experience to a person. For them, it is either this particular guy or no one else. But for the average guy, you know now....

This is why ladies must be very careful. Most times, that guy coming around you is just looking for a good time- a fling, meanwhile you are looking for love, a feeling of security and protection. And then you go looking for answers in the wrong places, and you get burnt.

This is simple logic- Any guy that is willing to sleep with you without bringing your relationship with him within the boundaries of a definite structure that can give you a guarantee (marriage), can also do same with any other girl. Stop deceiving yourself thinking you-re special to him. If you really are, then let him prove it by committing to a marriage covenant with you.

Sisters, be wise!
...and BE INSPIRED, my friends!

+ifedy...

Purpose Clinic (Part 1) 

Imagine that you wake up in the morning, say your prayers, take your bath and dress up for the day. You hit the streets and then begin to wonder “What’s my plan for today”? Very funny, right? But in the real sense of life, most people are like that.  Most people live their lives without knowing what on earth they are here for. They have been programmed by default to do certain things which they don’t even understand or appreciate their significance to their individual lives. And because these things are recurrent, they are blinded to the fact that they are making so much movement without any headway.  I call it living life in concentric circles.

Concentric circles are two circles that share the same center but different diameters. Concentric circles never intersect. Take one of the circles to be purpose and the other to be actions. Our actions and habits are supposed to be designed as our own unique and individual formula for fulfilling purpose. But the disparity between our purpose and actions make it impossible for the two to have a meeting point and so we keep trying in frustration to bring the two to a meeting point. This is my classical definition of an unfulfilled life. Want an example?

• It is very likely that you made the progression from Nursery school to Primary, to Secondary and then on to the University not really because you saw the relevance of this particular progression to your purpose but because it is the normal thing and everybody is doing it. TRUE OR FALSE?
• Have you ever seen people who graduated from school and never practiced what they studied (not necessarily because there was no job for them)? Or people who after graduating from one course, go back to school to study something else? Or people who are practicing what they studied not because they enjoy it but because they have no other option (You will hear them say things like “If I had my way, I will never have been here”)

A graduate once asked me to help her get a job. I asked her what kind of job she wanted and where she wanted to work. Her answer was “any job, anywhere”, meaning that she never had a purpose for going through school. Probably she was just doing the conventional thing. It is really true that when you do not know where you are going, then anywhere can be your destination.

There are two sets of people in life- Circumstance Driven People and Purpose Driven People.

• Circumstance Driven People are people who base their decisions and actions on the immediate circumstance around them without thinking of the long term consequences of such actions. They are short sighted or myopic. They treat life in isolated circumstances without bothering to ascertain if their decision adds up to bring them to their purpose. Anyway, these ones do not even know what their purpose is. Circumstance driven people are always unfulfilled and demanding for more than they invest in life. Their actions are solely predicated on convention, peer pressure, fad etc.

• Purpose Driven people however, look at the whole vista of life, try to grasp the end from the beginning and then ask themselves, this decision I am about to take, does it fit into the scheme of things? Will my daily decisions congregate to bring me to the resultant point required by my purpose? They do not consider life in isolated circumstances but rather they integrate each circumstance into the bigger picture and view it from that standpoint. Purpose driven people live a fulfilled life and are always seeking more ways to invest in life.

Activity

You must keep a journal exclusively for the purpose of this activity.

Take a mental journey through your life. Have you ever thought about your purpose and how it affects your daily life- your decisions and your actions. Write down your answer in your journal.

Before you go to bed each day, take fifteen minutes to review your daily activities and experiences record them under the various headings:

·         Things around me that annoy me

·         Things around me that please me

·         I should not have done this (here, record the things you regret having done)

·         I am proud I did this (here, record the things you’re happy you did)

Keep this habit consistently for a minimum of 12 weeks or more. Review your journal at the end of the period. Isolate those entries that have the highest level of recurrence in each category.

In Part 2, we will deal with how to discover your Purpose Platform. 

Recommended Text

In Pursuit of Purpose by Dr. Myles Munroe

The Assignment: Powerful Secrets for Discovering Your Destiny by Mike Murdock

S.H.A.P.E. Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees

Refuse the Scourge of Ignorance

No matter how terrible a man's situation might be, as long as he is willing to learn, he is not yet hopeless.

The greatest enemy of mankind is not the devil, as most preachers or books may tell you. It can't be the devil because Jesus the Christ defeated him on the cross about two millennia ago, and bought for us, freedom from him. Mankind's greatest enemy is ignorance. The only time Satan can have dominion over you is when you cooperate with him, by refusing to seek information or knowledge. Ignorance, of course is associated with darkness. No wonder the devil is called the prince of darkness.

If you seek growth this year, then you must make a covenant with yourself to seek knowledge as if your whole life depends on it (of course it does, when you seek the right knowledge). Of course, knowledge is synonymous with light. No wonder the Holy Book says, "The entrance of your word gives light and understanding to the simple."

Nothing in life is yours until you understand it. How i wish you know the amazing resources God has placed at your disposal on earth. But you under utilize these resources because information to understand how it works is hidden from you. But the good news is that you can find it, if you seek it. For when you seek, you shall find!

Discover God's purpose for your life. Then begin to seek relevant information that can help you achieve that. Read books. Buy tapes and CDs. I personally listen to at least four tapes/CDs a day, and two books a month. It will change your life, and your productivity quotient will shoot up like magic, i promise you. Even you, will be amazed by the level of results you'll begin to deliver. When you go online, don't just facebook, or chat, or read about football clubs, etc. Seek information.

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding, her pillars are established. How will you be built if you lack wisdom and understanding. And how can you have wisdom without information?

The Internet is the greatest tool and gift that the 21st Century gave to us. Take advantage of that. Refuse to be ignorant this year. You need knowledge to grow.

Remember, that all you need for life is wrapped up in the Word. That is your primary and most authentic source of information.

When you make the quest for information your greatest passion and pastime this year, your growth will assume geometric proportions and you will outperform your contemporaries. Be sure to let me know when you start seeing the results, because i'm so sure it'll happen!

Welcome to your year of Extra Measure, and...BE INSPIRED, my friend!

+ifedy...